A Very Weasley Christmas
by Narcissa Raie
Summary: The Malfoys and the Weasleys get together for what may prove to be one of the most awkward Christmas dinners of their lives.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the thisisnotmine!

**A/N: **I wrote this in response to Cally's Crazy Christmas Challenge from the DG Forum. It should be anywhere between 2 and 4 chapters. Yay Christmas!

A Very Weasley Christmas

The thin redhead, who'd turned twenty-seven years old that past April, gave out a sigh of sheer exasperation. "Lux!" she scolded the girl, "Sit still!" The child, who could not have been over two years old, glowered at her mother with her big honey-colored eyes, framed by large, thick eyelashes. The look was less than intimidating, to say the least. Not getting the desired reaction from her mother, she stomped her tiny foot and made sounds of protest. But after receiving a stern look from her mother, Lux stood still, lifting her arms for her mother's assistance. The little girl's strawberry-blonde locks, confined by a bejeweled pink clip, bounced as her mother pulled a pink jumper over her head.

Planting a kiss on her daughter's forehead, Ginny first inspected her to make sure she was ready to visit with her family, then the room itself. She shuddered at the sight of the garish pink tinsel. Lux refusing to dress in anything but pink was one thing, even the pink bed sheets and duvet cover was acceptable, but _tinsel_? For Ginny, it was the last straw when it came to her daughter getting anything and everything she'd ever wanted. Of course, her husband would hear nothing of the sort. What Lux wanted, Lux would get.

"Darling, have you seen your father?" Ginny asked sweetly. When the girl shook her head no, eyes wider than an owls, Ginny smiled at her. She knew where he was; she had just been hoping he wasn't. "I'll be back in a little while sweetheart," Ginny said absently to the girl, leaving her to the doll that her father had given to her earlier ("I _had_ to! You should have seen her face!").

"Draco!" Ginny called, making her way down the hall, heels clicking against the floor. She had a destination, but she liked to keep up the charade of looking for him anyway. He would answer just before she entered; it happened every time, just like clockwork and the changing of the seasons. "Draco!" she shouted again, rounding a corner, making her way towards an intimidating, oak door. She could hear the fire in the hearth crackling;

She inhaled once more to shout for him again when he called, "Yes? I'm in here!"

As Ginny opened the door, she admired Draco's silhouette up against the window. He was watching the white flakes fall to the ground, absently swirling the brandy he held in his hand; he was truly beautiful, and never ceased to take her breath away. Exhaling a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding in, Ginny walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his hips and tilting her head up to rest her chin on his shoulder.

"Why do you bother to come looking anymore? You know where I am," he murmured in her left ear after turning his head to kiss her temple gently.

"Where's the fun in that?" she smiled up at him. The swishing sound of the alcohol in his glass brought her back to reality, and she remembered her reason for tracking him down in the first place. She was pleasantly surprised to see only a small glass of liquor in his right hand; she knew how he reacted when it came to family visits. That was, until she noticed the full bottle in his left. He took a large swig, only for it to be pulled right out of his mouth with a large popping sound.

"What was that for?" he whined, knowing damn well what it was for.

"Why do you need a whole bottle?" she accused.

"Are we playing some sort of game of questions?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Are you serious?" she replied, imitating his expression.

"No," he said, trying to hold back laughter.

"Well, first of all, if we were, you just lost," she said, sticking her tongue out at him. "Secondly, I do not want you getting absolutely pissed before we go to my parents' home."

"Ginny, when I'm sober I hate your family. So, for this day to go smoothly I suggest you give me back that bottle."

"Not a chance," she replied smoothly, walking towards the liquor cabinet and putting the bottle away.

"My family is coming as well," he said, very quietly, as though he didn't want her to actually hear him.

"What was the that?" she asked darkly, not turning around.

"I'm sorry love," he said, sighing dejectedly, "My parents owled asking about our plans. When I told them we'd be going to the Burrow, my mum sent an owl to your mum. Your mum seemed to think it was a great idea, having Lux see the whole family for the holiday."

Ginny shook her head and turned around, bottle still in hand. "On second thought…" she bit out, "A few shots certainly couldn't hurt."

**A/N:** Read, review, have a ball.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. Don't sue me. Not mine.

**A/N: **So I forgot to say that my last chapter was beta'd by memories fade! She's lovely, and really helped me out. This one was beta'd by my lovely friend Sid, who is forever patient with my wild ramblings and keeps my real name a secret. Love you, Sid! This is not finished, but this is probably all I will have done by the deadline for Cally's Crazy Christmas Challenge. So, here are the requirements:

**ules**

**1 -You need to include at least 6 of the "Crazy Must Haves"**

**2 - Word count - _2000 MINIMUM_**

**3 - Rating - Any**

**4 - Genre - Anything**

**5 - It has to be either Christmas Eve (24th), Christmas Day (25th) or Boxing Day (26th)**

**6 - Must be D/G only!**

**7 - It must be Beta-ed**

**8 - You must state clearly in the authors note which "Crazy Must haves" you have chosen to incorporate into your story.**

**Due Date - 24th December, Christmas Eve!**

**List of "Crazy Must Haves"**

- All the Weasley and Malfoy's under one roof

- Hermione, Harry and Snape as guests

- An odd seating arrangement (Ron Weasley sitting next to Lucius Malfoy etc..)

- Ginny burning food

- Draco forced to wear a santa hat

- Pink tinsel

- Ron made to sit with the children

- A drunk Narcissa Malfoy

- Draco must say: "Ginny, when I'm sober I hate your family. So, for this day to go smoothly I suggest you give me back that bottle."

- Ginny must say: "Oh, it's only a bit of sauce!"

- Snape knocks down the Christmas Tree.

- A black thong landing on Lucius Malfoy's head (be creative!)

- Draco and Harry fighting (punches and kicks!)

- Ron made to sit with the children at the little table.

- Molly telling Lucius he should cut his hair.

- Arthur falling asleep at the table.

**No-No's**

- No deaths

- No Harry/Ginny

- No Ron/Hermione

Apart from that, anything goes!

Here goes my lovely readers! Happy Christmas! :

Draco hit his head on the fireplace as he stepped into the brightly lit living room of The Burrow. Ginny, who exited briefly after him (with much more grace), giggled into her hand and attempted to cover it up with a cough. She knelt down to brush the soot off of Lux and turned to her slightly dusty husband, who was clutching his head as it throbbed painfully, and scowling at her.

She matched his glower and cried, "What? What's wrong now?"

He responded huffily, not sounding unlike his two-year old daughter, "I hate the bloody floo."

Ginny rolled her eyes and walked away, joining her mother in the kitchen.

Draco stalked off in the opposite direction, looking for a strong drink. Unfortunately, all he found were those ghastly twins that his wife seemed to adore more than anyone in their right mind should, accompanied by The-Boy-Who-Just-Won't-Bloody-Die, Ginny's slightly denser brother, and the Mudblood. "Oh joy amongst all joys," Draco muttered sarcastically to himself, turning abruptly in hopes that they wouldn't notice him. But, because this was clearly not his day, he felt a large hand grab his forearm and steer him back towards the group.

"Drakie, my boy!" Twin (he could never tell the difference between the two) exclaimed, grinning mischievously.

"Please don't call me that," Draco mumbled darkly.

"You're looking lovely today, Drakie! Wouldn't you say he's looking positively lovely, Gred?" Twin Two (those bloody nicknames weren't much of a help either) said, completely ignoring Draco's protests, an identical grin upon his face.

"I don't know, Forge. I'd say he looks like he needs a good, strong drink," the other replied.

This, Draco could attest to. He agreed wordlessly, nodding his head once in approval at their suggestion. His day thus far had been so foul, it didn't even seem to register that he was accepting a drink from George and Fred Weasley, so he downed it happily.

Feeling what he assumed was the warmth from the liquor heating him up, he decided to go to the kitchen and fetch a glass of water, as well as check on his lovely wife. The drink made him feel much better, and he was ready to apologize for his attitude, and perhaps even say a polite hello to her mother. He did not notice the laughter that followed his exiting the living room.

He strode into the kitchen, turned to wife, and asked, "Ginevra, where are the glasses?"

She casually glanced up from whatever was bubbling in a pot, and her jaw dropped, her mouth forming an "o"; wooden spoon still in hand, and fell to the ground, shaking with silent laughter.

"What?" he cried. Suddenly remembering that he did, in fact, accept a drink from Fred and George Weasley. "What's going on?"

She simply pointed at his head, trying to gasp for breath, but only laughing harder. She clutched her stomach and rolled around on the floor. If he hadn't been so frightened, he would have informed her of how ridiculous she looked. Instead, he ran to the hallway, where there was an average sized mirror that was slightly fogged over simply from being in existence for far too long. His face was still perfect; skin unblemished, mercury colored eyes framed by long, pale eyelashes, and nose perfectly straight, if not somewhat pointed. His eyes traveled upward slowly - yes, his hair was still white blonde and tousled in a way that said, "I don't care, but I care enough to have spent an hour and a half so it would look like I don't care." He sighed in relief at the sight of his unchanged hair color; the last time he had seen the twins they tested out one of their products on him without his knowledge, turning his beautiful locks into a ghastly shade of red. Just as he thought he was in the clear and his wife was just ridiculous, he noticed the hat; the horrible, red, pointed hat, with a white puffy ball resting on the top of it. He growled at his reflection, and tugged at the hat, in an attempt to remove it. It would not budge.

That was when he heard Twin One say, "It won't come off until Boxing Day, you know." The horrible beast of a man seemed to just pop up behind him out of nowhere. Draco spun around, advancing on him like a jungle cat stalking its prey. Twin One backed up, hands held out in front of him in surrender, saying "Come on now Malfoy, no need to have a fit, it was just a joke…"

Just as Draco was about the tackle the redhead and give him what he clearly deserved, Potter leapt in his way.

"What're you doing, Malfoy?" he growled in an obvious attempt at intimidation.

"Just going to have a little chat with Weasley here, Potter. No need to get your knickers in a twist," Draco explained, his voice calm, but his eyes shining with malice.

"I don't think so," Harry countered.

Twin One interjected, "Um, gents? There's really no need. I can take care of myself, Harry. I am, in fact, older than you, and quite a bit bigger-" as he was twisting his neck so he could see around Harry's mess of jet black atop his head.

"Shut it!" the two boys snapped in unison.

Ginny leaned on the kitchen doorframe, facing the argument with her arms crossed. Most women would be fretting over it, twisting their hands, and even a few tears may have been shed, but this was clearly not the case when it came to Missus Ginevra Molly Malfoy. She merely raised an eyebrow and drawled in a way that, in a different situation, would have done her husband proud, "Are the two of you quite finished playing the whose-member-is-larger game? Because, frankly, it's getting quite old, and we have guests arriving soon."

"Death Eater," Harry accused Draco, pointedly ignoring Ginny.

"Oh, will you ever let that go?" Draco asked, laughing mockingly. "The war is over Harry, just because you are now officially irrelevant does not mean you should take it out on me."

Harry lunged at Draco, tackling him to the ground. A slew of punches and kicks were given on both ends; some meeting their targets, but more often than not, were carelessly thrown into the air. Neither man had ever been the type to get in physical fights, sans wands, so the fighting's effect looked more ridiculous than life threatening.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," Ginny sighed, shaking her head. "George could you do something about this?" As George and Fred pulled the two apart, Draco's nose bleeding, Harry slowly forming a black eye, Ginny put on her "mum face" and began to scold. "The two of you are grown men! Fighting like school children!" She shook her head in disbelief and agitation, "Act your bloody age!"

Both men mumbled an "I'm sorry," neither sounding quite sincere, but she decided to overlook it in favor of fixing her husband's nose.

She took advantage of the time she spent inspecting the rest of Draco's lovely - although newly bruised - face, to throw in a bit more scolding, hinting of a threat or two. "Honestly Draco, you have a child, who is _quietly _playing with her cousins in the gardens, _not_ starting a bloody riot! She acts older than you do! Absobloodylutely – _epiksey_ – ridiculous. If you start on anything like this for the rest of the evening, I can promise you it will not end in your favor."

"Fine," he grumbled. But he continued on saying, "But I need some else on my side. I need to go write an owl." And he ran off before she could stop him, as he knew this was the only way he'd accomplish what he was set out to do.

She merely shouted, "There are no sides! Christmas dinner is not a competition, Draco!" Knowing it was a lost cause, she sighed and shook her head in defeat. She meandered her way back towards the kitchen, pondering her husband's potential insanity, when she heard her mother shriek. Running into the kitchen at full speed, she came face-to-face with a significantly agitated Molly Weasley. The Weasley matron open and closed her mouth soundlessly, pointing to all sorts of pots filled with different kinds of sauces that Ginny had been helping her with. When Ginny had left to break up the fight, she had also left the food she was to be looking after. The pots were caked with bubbling, sludge-like liquid, none of which smelled even remotely edible. Ginny shrugged sheepishly, looking down into her mother's round face.

"Out," Mrs. Weasley said as Ginny made her way towards the pots.

Ginny replied, "Oh, it's only a bit of sauce!"

As Molly opened her mouth in protest, there was a dainty knock on the front door, and Ginny took it as her cue to flee from the foul smelling kitchen.

Ginny opened the door, grinning widely, to receive two identical nonplussed stares of contempt. "Hello, Narcissa!" Ginny said cheerfully, reaching out to shake the woman's hand. Narcissa Malfoy sniffed at her, and stumbled in past her. "Drinks are in the living room," Ginny told Lucius.

He replied, rolling his eyes, "I think she may have brought some of her own", and followed his wife into the house.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. JKR updates regularly, I'm quite sure of it.

**A/N:** I'm sorry! This is a Christmas fic, I'm not done, and it's February. In my defense, my beta was having some difficulties getting it back to me on time. Sorry to rat you out, Sid. I still love you! She's quite wonderful, though, so I keep her around. :] Enjoy.

Molly Weasley finished up her cooking (most of which involved cleaning up Ginny's mess), and could honestly say she was quite pleased with herself. When Narcissa stumbled into the kitchen, Molly said a polite hello, only to be pushed aside so the blonde woman could snatch some cooking sherry. "Bad day?" Molly asked. Three years prior, it would have been thoroughly inappropriate to ask such a thing to the Lady Malfoy, but after the wedding- and especially after Lux came into their lives- the two women had become something akin to friends.

Narcissa said something along the lines of, "Lucius took my bloody drink away," but the statement was a little slurred and it was difficult for Molly to understand.

"Ah, I see," the plump woman replied. "Well, everyone should be sitting down for dinner at the moment anyway, why don't you go into the other room?" And with that she shooed Narcissa out of her kitchen, who merely "harrumphed" in response.

Again, there was a knock on the door. Molly didn't even bother answering it; she had the finishing touches on her nearly perfect meal to attend to, and the house was already full with most of the Weasley clan, the last remaining Potter, a Granger, and the entirety of the Malfoy family - its two newest members included - any of whom could answer the door (except perhaps the eldest Malfoy couple, because, honestly, why would one be delusional enough to think that they would?).

After hearing a very girlish squeal, followed by a higher-pitched one, Molly knew that Charlie had finally arrived. He was Ginny's favorite brother, (although she'd never admit it to the others), and Lux's favorite uncle. He'd been doting on Ginny ever since he found her sobbing after having been left out of a game the other boys were playing, and had spent much of his time doting on Lux ever since her birth.

Molly looked into the hallway for a confirmation. She spotted Ginny, Lux on her hip, apparently throttling Charlie with a very tight one-armed hug. Hermione ran into the hallway immediately, and gave Charlie an unnaturally quiet and polite "hullo," particularly for one who had just bolted into the room to greet him. He returned the greeting with a wide smile, and Hermione's cheeks turned a slight shade of pink as Lux dragged him off in attempts to show him her newest doll. Molly couldn't help but smile to herself; she gave her son and Hermione another year, two at the very outside, until they were married. A mother always knew.

Molly beckoned her sons over to her and informed them of their yearly Christmas duties: rounding up all of the people in the house and setting the table. Their meal would be served shortly, as everyone seemed to be at The Burrow- but as of late, who really could be sure if they were missing someone? The family grew more every day, it seemed. Ah, there it was- another knock on the door. Mrs. Weasley searched the table for any missing faces, but everyone seemed to be present. She even counted the tiny heads at the small, round, children's table, but not a soul was missing from the gathering.

She walked purposefully to the door, put on her warmest hostess smile, and opened it, its hinges creaking ominously. Her jaw dropped. "Well, I never…" she breathed.

"Good evening Molly," Severus Snape greeted the Weasley matron, giving her a curt nod, and glided past the woman as she continued to stare into the open doorway, seemingly in a trance due to her unbridled shock.

Draco stood and shook the hand of his former Potions professor as he entered the room, motioning for him to take the seat to his right. The majority of the people sitting at the table had a similar reaction to Molly Weasley's previous one (who still had yet to leave the doorway). Arthur was a first to clear his throat and say a proper greeting, followed by Lucius nodding in Snape's direction and asking after his wellbeing. Narcissa clapped happily, and nearly leaped towards Snape, enveloping him in a hug. The Slytherin Head of House flushed (that is, he became slightly less pale), shrugged her off gently, and took a seat next to his godson.

Lucius excused himself from the table after seeing the embarrassing display from his wife. Merlin's beard, how he hated this blasted holiday. Neither he, nor the other occupants of the home, had noticed two particular peoples missing from the gathering.

"Really? This was your back up army?" Ginny snickered in her husband's ear.

"Sod off, Ginevra. Your _darling_ brothers charmed what can only be described as a red sleeping cap onto my bloody head. It seemed to be a good idea at the time."

"Oh, get off it," she replied, sighing. The couple rarely fought; merely bickered. But she had an ominous feeling about her relationship's solidity by the night's closing.

"Should've let me drink," he murmured in a sing-song tone into her ear.

She shrugged in response, smirking a bit. They would be just fine. She said a polite "hullo" to the man whom she _lovingly_ referred to as the Great Greasy Slime-Bat, because it _was_ Christmas, after all. She could consider her almost friendliness charity work for the holiday.

There were shouts coming from the second floor hallway. Everyone at the table stopped to stare at the stairwell. Down staggered a very shocked Lucius Malfoy, a black thong hanging from his ponytail, followed by a mortified Hermione, burying her face in her hands, and Charlie Weasley, apologizing profusely, but, in all honestly, looking quite pleased with himself. Now, to any innocent bystander, this could have looked very, very wrong indeed. Granted, it was not exactly _right_, per say, but certainly not nearly as naughty as one's probable assumptions.

"Hermione! With Malfoy! You didn't!" Ron cried, looking horrified at his friend's out of character poor decision making.

"Oh, enough Ronald! I was not with Lucius!" Hermione announced shrilly.

"Please call me Mr. Malfoy," the older man groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. Dinner had yet to start, and he already had a migraine.

"With all due respect, sir, you have my undergarment on your head. I think I have the right to call you whatever I damn well please," Hermione snapped. Lucius, remembering the lacy thing he'd been hoping would disappear on its own, fell silent, slumped into the seat, and handed Hermione back her… article. She continued, "I was _not_ with _Mr. Malfoy_. He merely walked into the wrong place, at the worst time."

"Oh? Then who were you wi- oh." Ron fell silent and looked between his brother and his best friend, bewildered.

Molly used all of her good sense not to dance around, shouting "told you so!"- but she couldn't help but let a chuckle escape. When Hermione shot her a glare usually saved for special occasions (like when Ron or Harry did something particularly stupid) the redhead merely shrugged sheepishly, still grinning like a jack-o-lantern.

"Well, I don't think I like it!" Ron shouted, not knowing why he was doing so. He wasn't particularly angry with either party, but the surprise of the situation, and the way he found out, made him thoroughly irritated. Very, very irritated indeed. Bloody furious, even. "You can't just go around… doing… dirty… things in your friends' bathrooms!"

"Enough, Ronald! I will not have a scene at my Christmas dinner! Sit with the children!" Molly snapped. She would not have her youngest son's irrational agitation ruin her chance at more grandchildren.

"But Mum- " he protested.

"Sit. With. The. Children," Molly ordered, pointing at the small table."

"You too!" Narcissa said, seemingly at random, turning to Lucius.

"Ex_cuse_ me?" he asked, raising an elegant eyebrow.

"You had the Mudblood's" - the table members gasped at her vulgarity- "_thong_ in your _hair_. _Sit_." She instructed forcefully, pointing at the round table for the second time, where five little heads looked up in fear (six, including Ron's large one) in fear at the arrival of the very tall blond gentleman. He glared at the wine goblet in his hand; he _really_ hated this bloody holiday. He would certainly lock up the liquor next year.

"Maybe if you'd just cut your hair Lucius, we wouldn't have the problem," Molly said cheekily. She was giddy with the idea of more grandchildren; nothing would break her spirit.

Deciding it was about time for some order, Mr. Weasley cleared his throat to attempt silence amongst what could only be described as the crowd. He cleared his throat louder, causing a few of his family members to finally shut the bloody hell up accompanied by the Malfoys and Snape who hadn't really attempted to talk in the first place (excluding Ginny and Lux, of course – come to think of it, Narcissa as well, who insisted on attempting to strike up conversation with Percy). "WELL," he finally shouted. This actually caught their attention and the noise went down from a dull roar to near-silence. He continued: "Well, I was just hoping to thank everyone for attending, even our… surprise guests," she looked pointedly at Snape, "With the whole family together, those extended and those immediate, I think this may become the best Christmas the Weasley household has had to date, despite the occasional… disturbance." He looked pointedly at Hermione, who blushed furiously, and Charlie, who pretended not to hear him. Mr. Weasley then grinned happily and clapped his hands together to imply that everyone could begin eating.

Poor dear, kind Mr. Weasley, despite his many years and fatherly wisdom, he had never said something so wrong and naïve as that final statement before the meal officially commenced.


End file.
